© AA Pantos 2020
The Emperor’s New Clothes Sample
In the Emperor Jing Mai’s Boudoir, our two resilient Con Artists are about to show him their brand new collection of “garments”.
Jing Mai skips in, wearing a robe and a pair of fluffy slippers. Wushu and Gung Po enter and bow to him. This time they really “camp” it up.
Jing Mai (Eagerly) Rumour has it you have designed yet another new outfit for me?
Wushu Even more elaborate than the last one? ‘Tis true, O Forbidden Planet!
Jing Mai (Unsure) Yes, whatever… Oh, joy! I’ll go and get ready!
He goes behind the screen and re-
Jing Mai In here, is it? (Excited) Let me see it! Let me see it! (To Audience) I just can’t wait to try it on, you know?
Gung Po In a mo, Maj! In a mo’… (Dramatically) We have worked our fingers to the bone, both night and day, to create this veritable masterpiece! One is drained…
Wushu (Over the top) We have both ruthlessly rummaged, pursued, hunted, sought, searched, sourced and, most importantly, imported items from throughout the known World, O Celestial One!
They open the basket and step back. Jing Mai peers into it.
Jing Mai Er… What is it exactly that I’m looking at?
Wushu and Gung Po giggle.
Both His Imperial Majesty jests! (To each other) Such a card, ain’t he?
Wushu Silks from Siam! Corsets from Corsica! Stockings from Stockholm!
Gung Po And you’ll never guess what we’ve got from Nicaragua!
They lift out more invisible “clothes” and flit and flutter around him, “ooh-
Wushu A wee bit more of the subtly superior, satisfyingly splendiferous, sinuous silk, O Celestial One? With the gorgeously, how shall I put it? Ah, yes! The enchanting yuppie-
He places “it” over Jing Mai’s head and steps back to admire it.
Wushu (“Tearfully”) Ah, me! And all those desperately divine diamante dragons on your drawers too! Undie-
He silently “sobs”. Gung Po stands up.
Gung Po (To Wushu) Ooh! You sentimental sausage, you! (To Jing Mai) He’s always been very highly strung. Know what I mean, Maj? (Thinking) Where were we? His Imperial Highness dresses to the left, I believe?
Jing Mai Right… Left.
This confuses Gung Po.
Jing Mai (Seeing his confusion) Left, right?
He’s even more confused. They eventually help him to step into a pair of “trousers”.
Gung Po (Struggling) You’ll need to breathe in, I fear! You may find this pair a bit tight round the bum, Maj… Breathe in, there’s a dear? (Giggling) I think someone has to go on a wee diet! No more dumplings, eh?
Jing Mai giggles too. He playfully pushes Gung Po, who collides with Wushu. They recover and take out other “items”, then stand back to admire the overall picture.
Wushu (Admiringly) Ah, breathtaking! Such élégance…
Gung Po So a la mode!
Both (Gasping) OMG! Eat your heart out, Gok Wan!
|Babes in the Wood|
|The Legend of Cinderella|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington|
|The Emperor's New Clothes|
|The Golden Fleece|
|Jack and the Jabberwock|
|Jason and the Argo-Nuts!|
|Little Bo Peep|
|Little Red Riding Hood|
|The Nutcracker Panto!|
|Puss in Boots|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast|
|The Snow Queen|
|Ali Baba Cast|
|Ali Baba Sample|
|Babes in the Wood Cast|
|Babes in the Wood Sample|
|The Legend of Cinderella Cast|
|The Legend of Cinderella Sample|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Cast|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Sample|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Cast|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Sample|
|The Golden Fleece Cast|
|The Golden Fleece Sample|
|Humpty Dumpty Cast|
|Humpty Dumpty Sample|
|Jack and The Jabberwock Cast|
|Jack and the Jabberwock sample|
|Little Bo Peep Cast|
|Little Bo Peep Sample|
|Little Red Riding Hood Cast|
|Little Red Riding Hood Sample|
|Mother Goose Cast|
|Mother Goose Sample|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Cast|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Sample|
|Puss in Boots Cast|
|Puss in Boots Sample|
|Robninson Crusoe Cast|
|Robinson Crusoe Sample|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Cast|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Sample|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Cast|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Sample|
|The Snow Queen Cast|
|The Snow Queen Sample|
|Sweeney Todd Cast|
|Sweeney Todd Sample|
|Aesops Fables Cast|
|Aesops Fables Sample|
|Entertaining Angels Cast|
|Entertaining Angels Sample|