© AA Pantos 2020
Jason and the Argo-
Odious, the sneaky Tyrant of Ambrosia, is being harassed by Harpies from The Underworld, when he has his first encounter with The Demon King of the Underworld, Hades… And his henchmen, Styx and Cerberus. After the Harpies have departed, Odious is ready to return from hiding
Odious (Now off-
1st Hoplite May one tickle your Munificent Majesticals, Odious the Ham-
Odious fearfully tip-
Hoplites We salute thee, O Iron-
Odious Chaps, chaps, chaps! There is no need for such formality. After all, I am a man of the people. “Iron-
The Hoplites exchange glances. “Is he kidding?” Odious addresses the Audience.
Odious And as for all you unpleasant peasants out there… You will address me formally as either “The Tyrant Odious… Any Old Iron… O Mighty One… Silly Old Burger King… He Who Must Be Obeyed or Lord of Arcadia”! Got it? (He shows off his jewels and rings) Not only am I bejewelled, but me underpants are encrusted too! (To a Hoplite) How’s the situation with the Harpies?
2nd Hoplite The doctor’s given me a cream for them…
Odious Fool! Are you Greek?
2nd Hoplite Nope. I’m a Cretan.
Odious Thought as much. If brains was dynamite you wouldn’t have enough to blow yer nose! (Aside) See that one there? Still can’t figure out why his sister has two brothers and he’s only got one… (To the Hoplites) Have you any idea why these creatures are constantly on the attack? Do any of you? Eh? Honestly. You’re all one step away from an idiot!
The Hoplites shrug their shoulders and take one step away from him.
Odious It’s not as if I’ve done anything wrong… It’s bound to be the fault of them peasants out there! (To Audience) Who’s been up to no good? Who ain’t paid their Community Charge? Who’s insulted the Gods? (To the Hoplites) There must be some reason why the Gods won’t help us out? They’re usually falling over themselves to interfere! Particularly that old duffer, Zeus.
Leans against the door to The Underworld.
Odious Olympus! I turn my back on thee…
Hades barges in from The Underworld, sending Odious flying into the Hoplites.
Hades What’s the problem there, “Nose-
Odious is caught off-
Odious Hotplates… I mean, “Hoplites”! Arrest that awful Ham Actor! Throw him to the rats in the dungeon. On second thoughts, throw him to the brats in the Audience!
The Hoplites advance on Hades. He whistles. Styx appears from The Underworld, followed by Cerberus. They both growl at the Hoplites.
Cerberus & Styx (Snarling) Ooby, dooby, doo!
There is a stand-
Hades Your move, I think.
Hades Think you can frighten me? You don’t know the meaning of fear. Where I come from there are things you could never imagine, even in your worst nightmares. So, I too can be somewhat “scary” if threatened! If you’re not careful, I’ll show you a DVD of last year’s Panto!
Hoplites (Camp) Ooh… How h’unbelievably h’evil!
Hades suddenly snaps his fingers. Thunder and lightning. The Hoplites are quaking in their boots as Styx and Cerberus run around them. They return to stand beside Hades.
Hades Scary enough for you now?
Odious It’s a trick! All done with smoke and mirrors, you second-
Hades Oh Cerberus, my whiffy whippet…? Do your thang.
Cerberus skips over to the Hoplites, stands amongst them and then loudly passes wind… The Hoplites take a sniff, react, put their hankies to their noses and run off, choking.
Hades Now, that’s scary.
|Babes in the Wood|
|The Legend of Cinderella|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington|
|The Emperor's New Clothes|
|The Golden Fleece|
|Jack and the Jabberwock|
|Jason and the Argo-Nuts!|
|Little Bo Peep|
|Little Red Riding Hood|
|The Nutcracker Panto!|
|Puss in Boots|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast|
|The Snow Queen|
|Ali Baba Cast|
|Ali Baba Sample|
|Babes in the Wood Cast|
|Babes in the Wood Sample|
|The Legend of Cinderella Cast|
|The Legend of Cinderella Sample|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Cast|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Sample|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Cast|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Sample|
|The Golden Fleece Cast|
|The Golden Fleece Sample|
|Humpty Dumpty Cast|
|Humpty Dumpty Sample|
|Jack and The Jabberwock Cast|
|Jack and the Jabberwock sample|
|Little Bo Peep Cast|
|Little Bo Peep Sample|
|Little Red Riding Hood Cast|
|Little Red Riding Hood Sample|
|Mother Goose Cast|
|Mother Goose Sample|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Cast|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Sample|
|Puss in Boots Cast|
|Puss in Boots Sample|
|Robninson Crusoe Cast|
|Robinson Crusoe Sample|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Cast|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Sample|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Cast|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Sample|
|The Snow Queen Cast|
|The Snow Queen Sample|
|Sweeney Todd Cast|
|Sweeney Todd Sample|
|Aesops Fables Cast|
|Aesops Fables Sample|
|Entertaining Angels Cast|
|Entertaining Angels Sample|