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 Ali Baba

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Ali Baba Sample

We can only apologise for the following cross-talk between Hassarac, his two sidekicks, Snitch and Snotrag. It was originally devised as we were walking through the streets of Edinburgh, heading for a Panto rehearsal and ad-libbing the while. We were sober at the time, honestly…

Snitch What news, O Hassarac? O Scourge of Samarkand! What news?

Snotrag Have you found a permanent place to stash our ill-gotten gains? I don’t wish to complain…

Hassarac Silence, fool! You dare to question my evil genius? Any more insubordination and I’ll be forced to slit yer throat from ear to ear!

Snotrag From here to where?

Hassarac From ear to ear!

Snitch From where to where?

Hassarac From that ear to that ear.

Snotrag Where’s ‘ere?

Hassarac This ear!

Snitch This ‘ere where?

Hassarac That there ear!

Snotrag Which ear?

Hassarac This ear to that ear!

Snitch My ear?

Hassarac His ear!

Snotrag I know I’m ‘ere...

Hassarac I mean from there to there!

Snitch Where’s there?

Hassarac This there!

Snotrag This there where?

Hassarac Your there!

Snitch I know I’m here... You’ve told me that already. (Coyly) Silly goose…

Hassarac I’ve had enough of this ‘ere nonsense...

Snitch, Snotrag & Nasti Ear, Ear!