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 Ali Baba

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Ali Baba Sample

We can only apologise for the following cross-talk between Azgarak and his two sidekicks, Claude and Alphonse.It was originally devised as we were walking through the streets of Edinburgh, heading for a Panto rehearsal and ad-libbing the while. We were sober at the time, honestly…

Claude What news, O Azgarak? O Scruff… Er, Scourge of Samarkand! What news?

Alphonse Found a permanent place to stash our loot? I don’t wish for to complain…

Azgarak Silence!

Alphonse crumbles. Claude fusses over him.

Azgarak You dare to question my evil genius?

Claude & Alphonse We wouldn’t dream to…!

Azgarak Any more insubordination and I’ll slit yer throat from ear to ear!

Alphonse (Taking the bait) From here to where?

Azgarak From ear to ear!

Claude From where to where?

Azgarak From that ear to that ear.

Alphonse Where’s ‘ere?

Azgarak This ear!

Claude This ‘ere where?

Azgarak That there ear!

Alphonse Which ear?

Azgarak This ear to that ear!

Claude My ear?

Azgarak His ear!

Alphonse I know I’m ‘ere...

Azgarak I mean from there to there!

Claude Where’s there?

Azgarak This there!

Alphonse This there where?

Azgarak Your there!

Claude I know I’m here! You’ve told me that already. (Aside) What a silly goose, ain’t he…?

Azgarak I’ve had enough of this ‘ere nonsense...

Claude & Alphonse Ear, Ear!