© AA Pantos 2023
Mother Goose Sample
This scene is an exchange between Sir Skulduggery Skinflint and his two henchmen.
Skinflint enters, followed by Muckworm and Sludge sporting tee-
Skinflint Curse that grubby, grasping, greedy, Gertie Goose! How very dare she have more wealth than me? Me? The richest man in the county of Ganderbury, whose twice been conglomerated? A goose that lays naught but Golden Eggs, i’faith? Tchah! Have you ever heard the like? Eh? At least I got my money honestly…! Didn’t have to rely upon “magic spells” and stupid fairies.
Muckworm & Sludge (Looking at each other) “Honestly”?
Skinflint Well, okay. Maybe a teensy bit of penny-
Muckworm Nah… Nobody never complained, boss. True.
Sludge You had us put the mockers on ‘em if they did!
Skinflint And bless your little unbelievably smelly socks for that.
Muckworm & Sludge (Curtseying) You’re more than welcome, kind sir!
Skinflint (Thinks) But, how to get me own back on old “Mother Gertie Gap-
Sludge Don’t care what you’ve got, mate! You can keep it to yourself…
Skinflint By George, I’ve got it!
Muckworm I think he’s got it! By George, he’s got it! (Singing) “The rain in Crawley falls mainly on your brolly! But not in Pwllheli, where it runs down your wellie…”
Skinflint (Slowly and emphatically) Get me that goose!
He laughs hideously. He notices they’re not laughing with him.
Skinflint (To them) Don’t I pay you enough? Where’s your maniacal laughter?
Skinflint and Sludge look at each other, aghast.
Muckworm Priscilla, boss?
Skinflint What? D’ye know of any other “magical goose” Muckworm, you meddling moron? ‘Course I mean Priscilla! I want her thieved, nicked, purloined, filched and otherwise illegally misappropriated. (To Audience) I wants them matchless, magical, gorgeous, Golden Eggs all to meself, I do! (To them) D’ye hear? Get me that goose!
|Babes in the Wood|
|The Legend of Cinderella|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington|
|The Emperor's New Clothes|
|The Golden Fleece|
|Jack and the Jabberwock|
|Jason and the Argo-Nuts!|
|Little Bo Peep|
|Little Red Riding Hood|
|The Nutcracker Panto!|
|Puss in Boots|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast|
|The Snow Queen|
|Ali Baba Cast|
|Ali Baba Sample|
|Babes in the Wood Cast|
|Babes in the Wood Sample|
|The Legend of Cinderella Cast|
|The Legend of Cinderella Sample|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Cast|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Sample|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Cast|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Sample|
|The Golden Fleece Cast|
|The Golden Fleece Sample|
|Humpty Dumpty Cast|
|Humpty Dumpty Sample|
|Jack and The Jabberwock Cast|
|Jack and the Jabberwock sample|
|Little Bo Peep Cast|
|Little Bo Peep Sample|
|Little Red Riding Hood Cast|
|Little Red Riding Hood Sample|
|Mother Goose Cast|
|Mother Goose Sample|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Cast|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Sample|
|Puss in Boots Cast|
|Puss in Boots Sample|
|Robninson Crusoe Cast|
|Robinson Crusoe Sample|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Cast|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Sample|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Cast|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Sample|
|The Snow Queen Cast|
|The Snow Queen Sample|
|Sweeney Todd Cast|
|Sweeney Todd Sample|
|Aesops Fables Cast|
|Aesops Fables Sample|
|Entertaining Angels Cast|
|Entertaining Angels Sample|