© AA Pantos 2023
Babes in the Wood Sample
Effluvia Nightshade is plotting to dispose of the “Babes”. Can she find anybody suitable devious? Cue Sloeworm and Slug.
Effluvia “Rumble, rumble”, as one says as one “storms” in! (Sneers) Will no-
Audience Participation, ad-
Effluvia An Outlaw, or someone who’s really devious,
Could rid me of those Brats I’ve mentioned previous…?
Sloeworm and Slug Enter and tiptoe up behind her. Audience Participation, ad-
Sloeworm May one be of assistance?
Effluvia How did you get into the Castle? This is private property, you know?
Slug (Matter of fact) We come in through the drains…
She holds her nose. He hands her a Card, which she has to wipe!
Effluvia (Reading it) “Sloeworm and Slug – Brat-
Slug Yeah. A wee vulture told us you ‘ates your Stepchildren?
Sloeworm Brats, is they?
Effluvia (Aside) “Wee vulture”? How weird… (To them) An exaggeration! They maybe Brats, but I don’t ‘ates… I mean, hate them! Just can’t stand ‘em, is all. I just want them out of my life, those irritating infants.
Slug Well, we can take ‘em off your hands! Eh, Sloeworm?
Sloeworm We could, like, I dunno? Leave ‘em deep in the Woods?
Slug We wouldn’t harm them or nuffing.
Effluvia (Unsure) You mean, abandon them?
Sloeworm & Slug Defrably.
Effluvia Hold that thought, Effluvia…! Isn’t that just a wee thing heartless?
Slug pretends to have an idea.
Slug “Heartless”? Nah!. Er, we could mebbe leave ‘em with that sweet, ‘Orrid Old ‘Ermit. You know? The one wot lives in the Woods…?
Sloeworm still doesn’t have a clue, so Slug whispers to him. The Penny drops.
Sloeworm Oh? Yeah…? He’d take care of ‘em. Eh, Slug?
Slug They’d be like Part-
Sloeworm (To Effluvia) Yeah! Wot he said, Parking Permits…
Effluvia And he’d take care of them? They’d be out of my life… forever?
Sloeworm & Slug Would we lie to you?
They smirk and nudge each other.
Effluvia Hang on a wee mo’ though? Someone might ask a few… Er, awkward questions? Especially my nosey niece, Marian.
Slug Just tell ‘er they kinda “wandered off into the Woods”? You couldn’t stop ‘em. You know what Brats is like?
Effluvia smiles and they shake on it. She suddenly has an idea and goes “Ping!”
Effluvia Hang on! I’ve got a better idea! (Aside) I could give it a couple of months, couldn’t I? Then report them “missing”, presumed dead! Pretend to mourn their loss, whilst raking in their inheritance! (Shakes their hands)) Deal!
Sloeworm & Slug (Wiping their hands) Deal!
© AA Pantos 2023
|Babes in the Wood|
|The Legend of Cinderella|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington|
|The Emperor's New Clothes|
|The Golden Fleece|
|Jack and the Jabberwock|
|Jason and the Argo-Nuts!|
|Little Bo Peep|
|Little Red Riding Hood|
|The Nutcracker Panto!|
|Puss in Boots|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast|
|The Snow Queen|
|Ali Baba Cast|
|Ali Baba Sample|
|Babes in the Wood Cast|
|Babes in the Wood Sample|
|The Legend of Cinderella Cast|
|The Legend of Cinderella Sample|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Cast|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Sample|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Cast|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Sample|
|The Golden Fleece Cast|
|The Golden Fleece Sample|
|Humpty Dumpty Cast|
|Humpty Dumpty Sample|
|Jack and The Jabberwock Cast|
|Jack and the Jabberwock sample|
|Little Bo Peep Cast|
|Little Bo Peep Sample|
|Little Red Riding Hood Cast|
|Little Red Riding Hood Sample|
|Mother Goose Cast|
|Mother Goose Sample|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Cast|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Sample|
|Puss in Boots Cast|
|Puss in Boots Sample|
|Robninson Crusoe Cast|
|Robinson Crusoe Sample|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Cast|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Sample|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Cast|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Sample|
|The Snow Queen Cast|
|The Snow Queen Sample|
|Sweeney Todd Cast|
|Sweeney Todd Sample|
|Aesops Fables Cast|
|Aesops Fables Sample|
|Entertaining Angels Cast|
|Entertaining Angels Sample|