© AA Pantos 2017
© AA Pantos 2017
Babes in the Wood Sample
Effluvia Nightshade is plotting to dispose of the “Babes”. Can she find anybody suitable devious? Cue Sloeworm and Slug.
Effluvia Will no-
She produces the letter again, reads it, howls with rage and tears it up. As she does so, the stage slowly darkens and there is the sound of distant thunder.
Effluvia An Outlaw, or someone who’s really devious,
Could rid me of those ones I’ve mentioned previous…?
Bang on cue, Sloeworm and Slug enter and tiptoe up behind her.
She eventually turns, sees them and they all do a double-
Slug May we be of help?
Effluvia How did you get into the Castle? This is private property, you know?
She has to hold her nose. He hands her a card, which she has to wipe!
Effluvia (Reading it) “Sloeworm and Slug – Brat-
Slug Yeah… We’ve ‘eard you ‘ates your step-
Sloeworm Brats, is they?
Effluvia An exaggeration! They maybe brats, but I don’t ‘ates… I mean, hate them! Just can’t stand ‘em is all. I just want them out of my life, those irritating infants.
Slug Well… We can take ‘em off your hands! Eh, Sloeworm?
Sloeworm Yeah! We could, like, I dunno? Leave ‘em deep in the Forest, I suppose. We wouldn’t harm them or nuffing.
Effluvia (Unsure) You mean, abandon them? (Aside) Hold that thought, Effluvia…
Sloeworm & Slug Definitely…
Effluvia Isn’t that a wee thing heartless?
Sloeworm Nah… Not really.
She hesitates… Slug pretends to have an idea.
Slug Well… We could always leave ‘em with that ‘orrid old ‘ermit, what lives in the Forest…? He’d take care of ‘em, eh Sloeworm? They’d be like part-
Sloeworm doesn’t have a clue what he’s on about. Slug whispers to him and it slowly dawns on him.
Sloeworm Oh… That ‘ermit! (To her) Yeah! Wot he said, parking permits…
Effluvia And he’d take care of them? They’d be out of my life… forever?
Sloeworm & Slug Would we lie to you?
They smirk and nudge each other.
Effluvia (Suddenly) Wait a minute though. Someone might ask questions. Especially that Marian person…
Slug Just tell ‘er they wandered off into the forest…? You couldn’t stop ‘em.
Effluvia smiles and they shake on it. She suddenly has an idea.
Effluvia Hang on… I’ve got a better idea! (Aside) I could give it a couple of months, couldn’t I? Eh? Then report them missing… Presumed dead! (Laughs) Pretend to mourn their loss, whilst raking in their inheritance! (Rubbing her hands) Deal!
Sloeworm & Slug Deal!
|Babes in the Wood|
|The Legend of Cinderella|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington|
|The Emperor's New Clothes|
|The Golden Fleece|
|Jack and the Jabberwock|
|Little Bo Peep|
|Little Red Riding Hood|
|The Nutcracker Panto!|
|Puss in Boots|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast|
|The Snow Queen|
|Ali Baba Cast|
|Ali Baba Sample|
|Babes in the Wood Cast|
|Babes in the Wood Sample|
|The Legend of Cinderella Cast|
|The Legend of Cinderella Sample|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Cast|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Sample|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Cast|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Sample|
|The Golden Fleece Cast|
|The Golden Fleece Sample|
|Humpty Dumpty Cast|
|Humpty Dumpty Sample|
|Jack and The Jabberwock Cast|
|Jack and the Jabberwock sample|
|Little Bo Peep Cast|
|Little Bo Peep Sample|
|Little Red Riding Hood Cast|
|Little Red Riding Hood Sample|
|Mother Goose Cast|
|Mother Goose Sample|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Cast|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Sample|
|Puss in Boots Cast|
|Puss in Boots Sample|
|Robninson Crusoe Cast|
|Robinson Crusoe Sample|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Cast|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Sample|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Cast|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Sample|
|The Snow Queen Cast|
|The Snow Queen Sample|
|Aesops Fables Cast|
|Aesops Fables Sample|
|Entertaining Angels Cast|
|Entertaining Angels Sample|