The New Adventures of Robinson Crusoe Sample

In this extract, Captain Baralandi tempts Will Atkins,The Landlord of “The Fairly Contented Roger” back to sea with the promise of a fortune in precious stones.

 

Baralandi and Atkins greet each other like long-lost friends. They slap each other’s backs – the slaps getting more violent each time!

Baralandi How be ye Will Atkins, ye ugly old swab?

Atkins Ye scabby scupper rat!

Baralandi Ye weevil ridden sea biscuit! Aarr! How be ye?

Atkins Fine… fine. Still watering down the ale. And how be the whaling business?

Baralandi Ain’t good, Will. There don’t seem to be enough whales to be going round these days. Can't understand it. Ain’t as if we’ve been hunting ‘em out of extinction. Even the old part-time piracy ain’t paying as much as it used to. We needs someone like ye back on board. Nobody could handle a harpoon… or a cutlass like ye!

Atkins Ye can’t tempt me back, Captain. I got a good life here. I can rob me customers blind, pay me staff less than the minimum wage… Then, there’s me daughter, Polly. The apple of me eye. I couldn’t go back to sea and leave her to the mercy of every ragamuffin rogue and rascal that sets lovesick eyes on her.

Baralandi Not even for…

Dramatic Music

Bilge and Scuttlebutt search for the source of the Music, including their Mobiles!

Baralandi …A fortune in precious stones?

Atkins’ eyes light up.

Atkins Precious stones, say ye?

Baralandi A large, golden pearl… Aarr!

Bilge A burnin’ red ruby… Aarr!

Scuttlebutt A sparkling blue diamond… Aarr!

Baralandi And a glowin’ green emerald! All enormous and worth a king’s ransom! Ever-so-Aarr!

Atkins (Speaks quickly) What’s my cut? Where be they? What’s my cut? How can we get our hands on ‘em? What’s my cut? Tell me, tell me, tell me! What’s my cut?

Baralandi I thought that would grab yer attention… We was in the stormy South China Seas, chasing some big, daft white whale, what got away. Blast its blubbery bones! We dropped anchor in a fishing village in Borneo. The local fishermen told us all about them fabulous precious stones. They says one be hidden on the Island of the Sea Nymphs…

Bilge One on the Island of Dragons!

Scuttlebutt One on the Island of Storms!

All Three And… One on the Island of Snakes!

Atkins Thank ye, “Thomas Cook plc”.

SYNOPSIS          CAST