Puss in Boots Sample

This is the opening of a scene set in the Caverns of Vesuvius which features the wicked witch Diabola and the Chief of Police, Capitano Calamari.

The Setting is still Front of Tabs. The whole scene is spookily lit, with perhaps the echoing sounds of dripping water and hissing steam.

“Creepy” Music

Calamari stumbles and shuffles in, lost, confused, whimpering and sucking his thumb. After a few moments Diabola enters. He draws away from her.

Diabola I wondered where you’d got to, foolish, insignificant, whimpering, thumb-stuck-in-yer-gob idiot. Thought you’d save the Princess, did you? But instead of that, you led her all the way here, to Orco’s Lair! (Laughs) Oh, by the bye? Curse your cotton socks for doing all that “dirty work” for me and my Goblins, miserable Mortal!

Calamari I might have saved her an’ all, if you hadn’t put that evil spell on me… (To Audience) She did, you know! I couldn’t help meself. I was entranced…

Diabola Leave that lot out of it! It’s none of their business! You were such an easy target, mio Capitano. I mean…? (Laughing) All that jealousy…? The unrequited love for the Princess Perlita, burrowing a hole through your heart? All that sneaking hatred you had for young Mario and his family? What did you expect? Some sort of medal? You were the ideal candidate!

Calamari I know. And I’ll never forgive meself…

Diabola (Interrupting) “For as long as you live”, you were going to say? (Laughing) Well, that won’t be too long. When Orco marries the Princess, you and every other Mortal in this land shall be enslaved! And those who dare defy me will suffer a slow and slightly agonising death! (Pleasantly) Point taken? Resistance is futile!

Calamari (Muttering) Bet you Mario’s on his way here now, to save the Princess…!

Diabola You think?

Calamari Yeah, I do! Him and his talking cat!

Diabola Oh, I think not…

Calamari Oh, yes he is…!

Audience Participation – funnily enough.

Diabola Even if the fool does try to rescue her, what care I? (Smirking) The entrance to the Ogre’s Lair is guarded by a particularly… nasty creature! So, let him enjoy his brief moment of glory! He’ll never live to tell the tale!

SYNOPSIS         CAST