© AA Pantos 2017
Jack and the Jabberwock Sample
Quite a few characters in this scene. Our hero, Jack, has just vanquished the Giant in the Beanstalk. Admiring this feat is King Crumble, his bodyguards Humpty and Numpty, and his daughter, Apricot. But even a giant has a friend, who now makes an appearance.
Frumpy, an evil half-
Jack Humpty? Numpty? Who’s the horrible and hideous inhuman hag?
Apricot Really, Jack! Don’t be so intolerant. We can’t all be beautiful, like me.
Numpty It’s the Jackersnatch, Bandy! I mean, the Bandersnatch, Jacky!
Jubjub Wotchit, mush! She’s the Freaky…
Frumpy The what, you rancid rook?
Jubjub Er, Frumious Bandersnatch, actually!
Crumble (Aside, to Apricot) What the blooming, blessed blazes is “frumious”?
Frumpy You tell ‘em, my jaunty and judicious Jubjub! My fantastically fearless, fatuous, feeble-
She simpers. Jack’s face should say it all. She screams with laughter. Jack is about to pick up his sword, but Humpty holds him back. Apricot just clings onto her father. Crumble turns to his bodyguards.
Crumble Wee Humpty? Big Numpty! Arrest them!
They look at each other and, trying to look tough, stride over to them and stand on either side of Frumpy and Jubjub. They nab the miscreants!
Humpty Ye’re both remanded in… Er, custard!
Numpty We could always charge her with carrying an offensive face, eh Humpty?
Humpty Aye. What about “Tweety-
Numpty (Giggling) Maybe arrest him for using “fowl” language?
They think this is really funny, but Jubjub just grabs both their noses and twists them. They back off.
Crumble (With resignation) What do you want with us, O Evil… Er, Grumpy?
Apricot (Defiantly) Jack’s just disposed of the wicked Giant, yeah?
Jack (Holding the sword aloft) Want to share the same fate, Ms Frumpy…?
Frumpy suddenly screams at them and laughs madly.
Frumpy A Vorpal Sword? Hear that, my spurious sparrow?
She nudges Jubjub and laughs. He giggles, sycophantically.
Jubjub (Aside) What’s a “Vorpal Sword” when it’s at home?
Frumpy (To Jack) A Vorpal Sword!? You fool! Yon’s no deterrent!
I am immortal! But, alas, the Giant… Er, weren’t!
He was my only friend you’ve cast adrift!
(Tragically) And now he lies beneath a creepy lift!
Jubjub does a double-
Jubjub “Leafy crypt”…
Jubjub “Leafy crypt”… You said “creepy lift”.
Frumpy You sure?
Jubjub Defribly. Didn’t she, Boys and Girls?
Snarks You bigger Boys and Girls too?
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Frumpy (Hamming it up) He was my friend! His final squeak’s been pipped!
And now he lies beneath a…
She glances at Jubjub, who mouths the correct phrase.
Frumpy Beneath a leafy crypt…!
|Babes in the Wood|
|The Legend of Cinderella|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington|
|The Emperor's New Clothes|
|The Golden Fleece|
|Jack and the Jabberwock|
|Little Bo Peep|
|Little Red Riding Hood|
|The Nutcracker Panto!|
|Puss in Boots|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast|
|The Snow Queen|
|Ali Baba Cast|
|Ali Baba Sample|
|Babes in the Wood Cast|
|Babes in the Wood Sample|
|The Legend of Cinderella Cast|
|The Legend of Cinderella Sample|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Cast|
|The Adventures of Dick Whittington Sample|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Cast|
|The Emperor's New Clothes Sample|
|The Golden Fleece Cast|
|The Golden Fleece Sample|
|Humpty Dumpty Cast|
|Humpty Dumpty Sample|
|Jack and The Jabberwock Cast|
|Jack and the Jabberwock sample|
|Little Bo Peep Cast|
|Little Bo Peep Sample|
|Little Red Riding Hood Cast|
|Little Red Riding Hood Sample|
|Mother Goose Cast|
|Mother Goose Sample|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Cast|
|The Nutcracker Panto! Sample|
|Puss in Boots Cast|
|Puss in Boots Sample|
|Robninson Crusoe Cast|
|Robinson Crusoe Sample|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Cast|
|The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp Sample|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Cast|
|Sleeping Beauty & The Beast Sample|
|The Snow Queen Cast|
|The Snow Queen Sample|
|Aesops Fables Cast|
|Aesops Fables Sample|
|Entertaining Angels Cast|
|Entertaining Angels Sample|