Diabola They won’t,
Orco my precious! Believe me, they won’t And neither will that foolish King!
The Forces of Darkness will triumph once again! (Quietly)
If he don’t, I’ll open
the very Gates of Hell and send forth my Army of Gruesome and Ghastly Goblins to
overrun Napoli! (Laughs) Oh, you just
see if I don’t!
More
Audience Participation.
Diabola
And speaking of
Goblins...? Where are my two
‘ideous ‘enchmen?
She
whistles in a very unladylike manner.
Diabola
(To
the Audience) One’s a
moron, one’s a meanie!
Farfalloni!
Fettuccini!
“Comedy” Music
Farfalloni
and Fettucini stumble in, sniffing
the air.
Farfalloni
Oi? Wot’s that
‘orrible pong? (To Fettucini) Did
you “bottom burp”?
Fettucini Eh? Exsqueeze
me! (Glaring at him) He wot smelt it,
dealt it!
Farfalloni (Sniffing
again) It’s coming
from down there...!
He points towards the direction of the Audience. They amble down to the front
and look out into the Audience.
Farfalloni
Apologies, mio
caro Fettucini... It’s that lot! (To
them) ‘Fess up, you brats!
Fettucini
(Peering
into the Audience) Who
bottom-burped? You...? You? Nasty little rugrats!
Both
(With
distaste) Children!
Pooh...
This should set off more Audience Participation. Diabola takes them aside and
quietly speaks to them. We hear her muttering about her army of Goblins. They
giggle.
Farfalloni Yeah, Orco!
We’ll, like, hold the city to ransom!
Fettucini Till the cave
King’s in! I mean, till the King caves in...
Farfalloni
You long to adore a “Signora”,
you ‘orrid and ‘orrible Ogre?
Fettucini
Well, a Signora you
shall have!
Farfalloni And a most royal
one at that!
Fettucini Perlita
shall become your bride!
Diabola You’ll never
be lonely again!
Orco (Longingly)
My bride? Mia
sposa...?
Farfalloni
(Giggling)
I sposa
so!
Song:
Farfalloni & Fettucini
The
Goblins enter, join in and dance along. Diabola and Orco add their vocal
talents. After the song, the Goblins exit.
Fettucini Can
we chuck spaghetti afterwards?
Farfalloni
Confetti....
Tsk... (Sighs)
Diabola (Interrupting)
And there ain’t
nothing Faerie Feliciana can do about it!
The three of them then indulge in a little celebratory dance. Feliciana enters,
followed by an Older Cat. The Cat
grabs a hold of Farfalloni and Fettucini and shakes them. They both look at each
other, then to the Audience, quietly “eek” and run off, stumbling over each
other and Diabola in their haste to escape.
Orco Codardi...
Cowards!
Diabola (Watching
them go) What a useless
pair of “Work Experience” wimps... (To
Feliciana) I suppose you heard every word of my threat?
Feliciana
(Sarcastically)
You think?
Diabola
dismisses her with a sarcastic laugh, and then eyes up the Cat. She wanders
around him, poking him. He just glares back at her.
Diabola
This the
silly little kitten you once rescued, dearest
Feliciana? Mmm? From the clammy clutches of Orco? My, hasn’t he grown? And how
brave he looks too! I wonder how
brave he’ll still be when I set my Goblins on him? (To
the Cat) Eh, kitty kitty?
He still glares at her, but she dismisses him with another sarcastic laugh.
Feliciana
You can threaten all
you like, Diabola, but you’ll never win. I’ll see to that. And King Alfresco
won’t change his mind about banning all evil magic either.
I’ll see to that as well. (Laughing
dismissively) Huh! And as for handing over the Princess...? As they say in
Napoli... Fat chance!
Orco roars with anger, so loud it even scares Diabola.
Diabola (Momentarily
shaken, to Orco) Oi! Do
you mind? (Aside) That’s cleared me
sinuses...
Orco (Angrily)
Perlita shall be my
bride!
Feliciana Oh, no she
won’t!
Audience
Paricipation ad-lib.
Orco
Button it, you brats!
Diabola (To
Feliciana) If the King won’t change his miserable mind, my Army of Goblins
will!
With
a yell of triumph she storms off.
Feliciana
Orco...? What do you
have to say?
Orco
just blows a very loud “raspberry”. His laughter fades.
Feliciana
Charming...
She waves her wand and the Faeries enter.
Feliciana
(Talking
to herself) Goblins on
the loose? What an idea...!
Faeries The Princess
marry Orco?
Feliciana Mamma
mia...!
Faeries
I fear she’ll win, unless we can defeat her...
Feliciana
I wonder who’ll we’ll get to save
Perlita...?
She
is deep in thought. The Faeries suddenly point out the Cat. They get the
Audience to call out his name. Audience
Participation. Feliciana suddenly takes the hint. The Cat grins widely and bows.
Feliciana winks to the Audience.
Faeries
Giuseppe!
Feliciana
Peppe! (To
him) You cannot speak!
Faeries
You’re incommunicado!
Feliciana
But soon you shall,
with power and bravado!
The Cat thinks about this, grins and poses. The Faeries realise what she’s up
to and dance with delight. Three of them exit.
Feliciana
The Powers of Darkness
soon you shall defeat!
With hat
and cape... And Magic on your feet!
“Faerie”
Music & Song
The Stage is now magically lit for the first “Transformation Scene”.
Transformation
Scene
The three Faeries re-enter, one carrying a fancy hat, one a golden cape and one
with a pair of thigh-length boots. The Cat looks at them, puzzled. The Faeries
start to dress him, but everything’s too big for him. He looks at Feliciana
and shrugs. She just smiles and indicates that he sits on the Throne. He does
so, as Feliciana steels herself to cast a spell. The Faeries cross their fingers
as the music swells to a crescendo.
Faeries Diabola and
Orco she’ll harangue!
She’ll
strut her funky stuff and do her thang...
Feliciana’s
voice echoes.
Feliciana The hat, the
cape, the footwear shall endeavour,
By
means of Faerie Spells, to make you clever!
The
power of speech I grant you! Grow in
stature!
Be
wise and cunning! Soon all hearts you’ll capture!
Faeries
“Giuseppe” was a
name that really suits...
Feliciana
But now
you shall be known as...
All
“Puss in Boots”!
Black
Out
For
this transformation, all that is required is a "trick" throne - which
is reversible. Peppe’s “double” [probably
a Member of the Junior Chorus?] sits on the throne, with the real Peppe –
or “Puss in Boots” – seated on its reverse. Black Out – Magical Music -
Sparkle – Thunder Flash – the Throne is turned around and, hey presto!
When
the Lights come back up again Peppe,
in all his glory as “Puss in Boots”,
is now seated on the Throne. Even he is taken aback at his transformation.
He slowly stands up, looks about him, checks out Feliciana and the Faeries and
walks forward to the Audience. He pauses, clears his throat, cheekily winks then
gives the Audience the “thumbs-up”.
Peppe
(Winking)
Hey? How you doin’?
Tabs Close
The Scene continues Front of Tabs.
He laughs and dances with joy. Feliciana and the Faeries step forward to join
him.
Song:
Peppe, Feliciana & The Faeries
Peppe The Wicked
Witch’s plans I’m sure to wreck...
And
Orco? I’ll keep breathing down his neck!
Feliciana
Diabola will put you to
the test...
So,
find a humble youth to aid your quest! (She
thinks for a moment)
“Mario”
shall be your bosom crony...
Peppe
looks somewhat puzzled. The Faeries remind him.
Faeries The oldest son
of “Mamma Macaroni”!
Feliciana Peppe? Though
you’re brave and rather stoic...
Mario
is... What’s the word? (Thinks) “Heroic”.
The
Faeries agree.
Peppe (Nods;
to Audience) Catch you
later, bambini! You bigger
bambini too...!
He hugs Feliciana, “high-fives” the Others and runs off, laughing. They
Others watch him go, sigh and exit.
“Evil”
Music
Diabola, Farfalloni and Fettucini enter.
Farfalloni & Fettucini (Snorting
with laughter) A
“Puss in Boots”?
Diabola My
magic’s even better!
That
Cat will feel the force of my
vendetta...!
The
three of them laugh hideously, which is too much for Fettucini and he takes a
wheezing fit. They then dance off in a sort of “Tarantella”. A Citizen
or Faerie enters playing a mandolin. Other Citizens,
led by Capitano Calamari, enter
dancing to a “Tarantella Napoletana”. As they dance the Tabs slowly open on Scene
Three.
CLICK
HERE to be transformed back to the
beginning of this scene
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