Little Red Riding Hood
or
The Curse of Werewolf Rock! 

Characters

  FLATULA The Elf-King
ODELINA A Spirit of the Forest
BRÜNNHILDE Annalise’s Grandmother
PUMPERNICKEL Her Silly Brother
ANNALISE “Red Riding Hood”
SIEGFRIED VON SAUERKRAUT The Burgomaster 
PRINCE ABELARD Our Hero!
SCHTINKEN Flatula’s Troll Henchman
SCHLEIM Another Troll Henchman
GREIFER A Creature of the Night!

CHORUS OF VILLAGERS, FOREST SPIRITS, TROLLS & CO

The Action takes place in and around the Village of Glück, in Germany’s Black Forest Region

Sample Scene

Every popular traditional Pantomime has that scene everybody expects. This is the one where Little Red Riding Hood goes to her grandmother's cottage late at night, expecting to find her gran safely tucked in bed. But, as we all know, Little Red Riding Hood is in for a BIG surprise!

 Act Two, Scene 3: Brünnhilde’s Boudoir, Later That Night

Her boudoir should be right-over-the-top, all pink and fluffy. Her bed is Centre. There should be a practical door, a window and a screen. There is also a practical wardrobe, possibly beside the bed.  

Music

Brünnhilde is sitting on a stool, beside a dressing-table, and taking off her shoes, then her socks – which seem to go on for ages! Pumpernickel, in a nightshirt or pyjamas and silly slippers, enters.

Pumpernickel Everything okay, Gran?

Brünnhilde Why shouldn’t it be?

Pumpernickel hesitates.

Pumpernickel (Aside) I wonder if I should say anything? Mind you, er, Oddity said everything would be alright… (To her) Everything’s okay, Gran… You can sleep soundly. You’re not in any danger, whatsoever…

Brünnhilde In danger? Why would I be in danger? Apart from accidentally putting my foot in the chantie… Don’t be silly, Pump. Now, you must be really exhausted clang-clang-clanging all those Trolleys… I mean, tack-tack-tackling all them Trolls?

Pumpernickel (Grinning) And all them Cheerleaders…!

Brünnhilde Off to bed now… It’s getting late. Night, night.

He suddenly embraces her.

Pumpernickel I love you, Gran!

Brünnhilde Me too… (She returns the hug) Now get to bed, silly!

He exits. She sighs.

Brünnhilde He’s all wired up, you know. What with Walpurgis Night, and Trolls, and Werewolves. Odelina will protect us from any Werewolf… I hope? I’ve got me “Ouija” bra on, just in case! When something spooky appears, it moves in all directions! Now, what have I still got to do? I wonder if I should open the window? Get some fresh air? (Consults the Audience) Do you think I should, kids…? No? Maybe you’re right… It might be a wee thing cold.  Mmm… I wonder if I locked the front door? You know, I can’t remember if I did or not… Doesn’t really matter! Who’s going to call at this time of night! (Laughs it off) Ah, well… Better get ready for bed!

She starts to undress…

Music – “The Stripper”

Comedy “Striptease” Routine

Near the end of the dance she walks behind the screen and immediately re-emerges in her nightdress, a shawl and a nightcap. She yawns, blows out the candles and gets into bed.

Pumpernickel (Off) Night, Grandma!

Brünnhilde (Calling) Night, John-Boy!

She lies down and immediately starts to snore, loudly.

Creepy Music

The room is bathed in moonlight. A shadowy figure passes the window. A door is heard creaking open, off, followed by bumping noises. This makes Brünnhilde awake.

Brünnhilde What was that? (Listens; probably asks the Audience too) Probably just the wind… That’s baked beans off the menu!

She lies down and starts to snore again. Her door starts to slowly open. Flatula, in the guise of the Werewolf, slowly steps into the room! He looks and wanders around the room. He bangs his foot on something and represses a yell. Brünnhilde stirs in her sleep and mutters something. He slowly approaches the bed… Pumpernickel bursts in and confronts him. Perhaps he’s wielding another of his dangerous bananas?

Pumpernickel Stay where you are, you Was-Wolf!

Greifer Were…!

Pumpernickel (Confused) Wot…? Wake up, Gran!

She snores loudly.

Pumpernickel You’d better have a box of Milk Tray, mate… Wake up, Gran!

Greifer snarls and approaches him. He quietly sings…

Greifer “Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf…?”

Pumpernickel Odelina said you’d show your ugly face… Now, back off!

He stands his ground and raises his fists - or his banana. Greifer laughs.

Greifer Going to use your “power of the forest”, you miserable little maggot?

Pumpernickel You don’t scare me, you know… I’ve watched a whole episode of “Big Brother”!

Pumpernickel lunges at him. He almost gets the better of him, when suddenly Greifer overpowers him. He drags him to the wardrobe, bites his hand and puts him into it. He howls triumphantly – which finally wakes up Brünnhilde. She yawns. Greifer towers over her.

Brünnhilde What’s up, Pumpie? I was having such a lovely dream… I was being chased by George Clooney.

She does a double-take, yells and leaps out of the bed – putting her foot in the chantie? Greifer chases her round the cottage.

Brünnhilde (As she runs) I’ll tell you something, he’s no George Clooney…  More like Wayne Rooney!

Greifer Go on… Scream, if ye dare!

He grabs her and puts her into the wardrobe.

Greifer I’ll eat ‘em both later…

He hears the Undead moaning, off.

Greifer Annalise approaches!

He opens the wardrobe again and speaks to Brünnhilde, snapping his fingers.

Greifer Shawl and nightcap! Give!

She hands him her shawl and nightcap. He closes the wardrobe door, puts on the items and gets into bed. A door opens, off. After a moment the bedroom door opens and Annalise enters.

Annalise Hi, Gran! It’s me… Annalise! Safe and sound!

Greifer Is that you, my sweetling? My wee Annalise? We’ve been ever so worried, you know? What with that ‘orrible werewolf and such! I’m sure your little heart is a beat-beat-beating?

Annalise Don’t you fret yourself over that silly old werewolf… Look what I’ve brought you, Gran! A lovely basket, full of forest… Er, frew-it! Part of your five a day!

Greifer Ooh, ‘ow sweet of you, my little munchkin! I could just eat you!

Annalise Why, Grandma! What a deep voice you have!

Greifer Eh? (Croaking) Laryngitis…

Annalise Oh, bless… (She strokes his hand) Why, what big hands you have! They’re all cold and clammy! You could really do with a manicure… And such a big nose too! And those ears… I mean, really!

Greifer (Aside) Cheeky cat… (To her) I’ve got a wee cold, my precious. Makes me nose look big. And such ears I have, all the better to hear the beating of your heart!

Annalise If you say so… What about those eyes, Gran? Are you wearing contacts? Go on, do tell!

Greifer (Growling) All the better to see you with, darling…

Annalise (Looks closer) Does that “cold” of yours make your teeth look that big too?

He leaps out of the bed.

Greifer All the better to… rip out your heart!

He takes off the shawl and nightcap and advances towards her, growling and snarling.

Annalise The Werewolf!

He sarcastically applauds. She backs away towards the wardrobe. Its door suddenly flies open and Brünnhilde comes running out, followed by Pumpernickel – who is acting like a Zombie! He howls and moans.

Annalise (Screaming) Pumpie!

Greifer When a werewolf bites, it really hurts!

He laughs and advances on Annalise, taking out a napkin and tucking it into his collar. Pumpernickel chases Brünnhilde around.

Wagnerian Music

Abelard bursts in, wielding a sword, followed by Odelina. Everyone freezes.

Annalise What kept you guys?

Odelina (Tutting) Public transport… (To the Audience) The Magic Spell, kinder! Keep repeating it! Keep repeating it!

The Magic Spell is recited – Abelard advances on Greifer and Odelina gives Pumpernickel a piece of fruit from the basket. He devours it, spraying it everywhere and returns to normal. Greifer falls back onto the bed, with Abelard holding the sword above him. He places a piece of fruit into Greifer’s mouth.

Odelina The Red Riding Hood, Annalise! The Red Riding Hood!

She throws the “Riding Hood” over the prone figure of Greifer. The bed suddenly and magically glows. He howls, struggles and slowly sinks into the bed!

Music

Black Out

A Voice is heard over the loudspeakers.

Voice Ladies and Gentlemen… Boys and Girls! We regret to inform you that the Werewolf has disappeared from the cottage… And is now somewhere in this building! Please do not be alarmed… We have specialised teams hunting him down! We must ask you to maintain absolute silence whilst we search for him. I repeat, absolute silence!

After a moment or two, a mobile phone loudly goes off somewhere in the Audience. A “plant” in the Audience yells into it.

Plant Hi! I’m at the Pantomime…! Oh, much better than last year’s…

Growling is heard throughout the auditorium!

Plant Got to go… Aargh…!

Voice Its okay, folks… We’re just kidding! We’ve got him!

The Lights come back up again.

Tabs Close

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