The Amazing Adventures of Sherbert Dipp
Characters
BLOSSOM BUTTERCUP The Good
Fairy
COUNT SPATULA Sherbert Dipp's Nemesis
PRINCESS CINDERELLA A Damsel in Distress
PRINCE CHARMING Her Dashing Husband
SHERBERT DIPP Ace Detective & Master of Disguise
INSPECTOR McMUDDLE Of Scotland Yard
FANG Spatula's Sinister Butler
MRS MALEVOLA His Menacing Housekeeper
ALSO FEATURING
THE WITCH OF TALON; THE DEMON KING; THE
FAIRY QUEEN; ABANAZAR; THE WICKED FAIRY; ARMPITS ARTHUR; THE UGLY SISTERS
(All of the above additional Roles are played by the
eight Principals. The Actors playing these
Roles in your Production should be given false names in
the Programme)
In this early scene, we meet our
heroes - Sherbert Dipp (Ace detective and Master of Disguise), Inspector
McMuddle (of Scotland yard) and the dashing Prince Charming!
Scene
2: Dipp’s Rooms at 221a Baker Street
We
hear a musical instrument being played very badly – something like a banjo or
tuba. The lights come up on Sherbert Dipp, sprawled on a couch. He finishes
playing, lays down the instrument and sighs. He is evidently bored. He stands up
and paces about.
Dipp
When
will this endless idleness be interrupted? I long for adventure, excitement, the
intrigue of a baffling case, the thrill of the chase, the chance to pit my wits
against some criminal mastermind, like the chappie upstairs that we don’t
mention… I crave for some intelligent, stimulating conversation…
Inspector
McMuddle is heard, off.
McMuddle
Dipp?
Dipp!
Dipp
(Sighing)
“Intelligent”, did I say?
McMuddle
rushes in, out of breath.
McMuddle
Dipp!
Thank goodness you’re in!
Dipp
McMuddle,
my dear fellow! Do sit down. I perceive you have hithered, post-haste, from
Buckingham Palace? No doubt you have some intriguing case, some adventure,
someone to pit my wits against?
McMuddle
I
have! But how…?
Dipp
Certain
royal personages are residing therein. Their safety, no doubt, being your
responsibility? A glimpse of the uniform beneath your overcoat confirms you are
on official duty. And the wrongly
fastened buttons on your overcoat betray the haste of your departure from
that duty.
McMuddle
Yes.
But even you couldn’t imagine the unspeakable horror that has happened!
Dipp
I
never imagine. I simply deduce. Pray, enlighten me.
McMuddle
It’s
terrible, Dipp. Ghastly! And to have happened here, in our nation’s capital!
Dipp
Unacquainted
with the facts, I cannot comment.
McMuddle
If
only I could explain… It’s got me up to high doh! I’m all at sixes and
sevens.
Dipp
How
familiar… (Impatiently) Facts, man.
Facts!
McMuddle
You’d
never believe me, even if I could tell you. It’s unbelievable! Like something
out of a “Penny Dreadful” or a badly acted Christmas melodrama!
Dipp
is now intrigued.
Dipp
Come,
McMuddle. You know my fondness for the bizarre.
McMuddle
Like
the chappie upstairs we never talk about… I know. But, oh! If you heard the
whole, horrible, hideous, heinous story from an eyewitness… I have the very
person outside.
Dipp
Splendid.
Bring him in.
McMuddle
I
can’t… At least, not without help.
Dipp
McMuddle…!
McMuddle
He
won’t come in unless they ask him.
Dipp
“They”?
McMuddle
Yes.
The Children.
Dipp
Oh,
yes. Of course. “The Children”. (Looks
around) Where?
McMuddle
indicates the Audience.
McMuddle
Out
there… Scores of them!
Dipp
McMuddle! I fear you have been overtaxing yourself.
McMuddle
If
you don’t believe me, try asking them.
Dipp
(Laughing)
Well, really.
McMuddle
Go
on.
Dipp
If
you insist…
He
peers out into the Audience.
Dipp
If
there are any Children out there, would you… er, shout “hello”?
The
Audience will hopefully respond to this request. Dipp recoils with surprise.
Dipp
Good
grief! What are all you lot doing in my front room?
McMuddle
(To
Audience) Will you help me to shout for the gentleman outside? All the big
Boys and Girls as well?
Watched
by an incredulous Dipp, McMuddle goes through the time-honoured ritual ad-lib.
Audience
Hoi,
handsome!
Prince
Charming bounds in and slaps his thigh. Dipp bows.
Dipp
Prince
Charming! Your Highness!
Prince
(Surprised)
You know who I am, sir?
Dipp
When
a dashing young “gentleman”, attired in tunic, knee-length boots and legs
that seem to go on forever, bounds into my humble rooms when prompted to by a
multitude of children’s voices and slaps his thigh, I would be slow witted
indeed if I did not pronounce him to
be the Prince Charming from the
enchanted land of Pantomime! (Pauses to
catch his breath) Sherbert Dipp, Ace Detective and Master of Disguise at
your service, Sire. Pray, be seated.
Prince
(Sitting)
Thank you. Inspector McMuddle was describing your many accomplishments on
our journey from the Palace.
Dipp
Undoubtedly
the scene of this bizarre incident that has so befuddled McMuddle. Involving
the… Princess Cinderella I would suspect?
Prince
Yes!
But how…?
Dipp
You
are on honeymoon, are you not? I doubt whether you would have deserted your
bride this evening, had circumstances prevented you from doing otherwise.
Prince
Correct again! Mister Dipp, my bride has vanishéd!
Dipp
strikes a pose.
Dipp
Astounding! (He pauses to consider) “Vanishéd”,
you say? What exactly do you mean,
Sire?
Prince
If
only I knew! It all began with a spinning wheel…
Dipp
Spinning
wheel?
Prince
Charming rises and paces the room.
Prince
A
wedding gift from a mysterious well wisher. Cinders seemed enchanted by it, so
she sat down to spin. Then she cried out, as though she had caught her finger.
She suddenly felt quite drowsy. This may sound strange, but I could have sworn I
saw a dark, sinister figure looming over us. There was also something else in
the room, apart from the figure. I could hear and feel its heavy breath. Then
Cinders screamed! The room was plunged into darkness, thunder rolled, there was
a vivid flash of lightning! When the lights came on again, my beloved had
disappeared! I searched the room in vain, yet Cinderella there was none!
McMuddle
Nobody
saw a thing, except one of the footmen. He tried to tell us he’d seen a giant
rat, near their highness’s chambers. I told him he was just being silly.
Letting his imagination run riot, if you ask me.
Dipp
Perhaps
not. A giant rat…?
He
reclines on the couch and assumes a thinking pose.
Dipp
Here
is our first clue!
Prince
If
you can help in any way, Mister Dipp, I shall be eternally grateful… Sir?
Dipp
is deep in thought.
McMuddle
It’s
alright, Sire. He’s thinking. I’ve sometimes seen him sit like that for
hours.
Prince
You
recommended him most highly, McMuddle. Yet can he
solve what has baffled Scotland Yard?
McMuddle
If
anyone can, that man is Sherbert Dipp. You’re looking at the chap who slew the
dreaded “Hound of the Beanstalks”. Who averted the “Scandal in
Skegness”! Both solved by Sherbert Dipp of Baker Street! And then, there was
“The Case of…”
Dipp
suddenly leaps up.
Dipp
I
have it!
He
rushes to the bookshelves and locates a large scrapbook.
Prince
You
have what, sir?
Dipp
This
scrapbook contains hundreds of newspaper cuttings. I keep anything odd, unusual,
no matter how seemingly insignificant… Aha!
He
finds a cutting and hands it to the Prince.
Prince
(Reading)
“Sinister figure with a giant rat seen in Whitechapel. Horrible apparition
seen on several occasions by reliable witnesses…”
McMuddle
Yes…
Outside a pub. Hardly “reliable witnesses”. We didn’t bother to
investigate. True, we were baffled at the time…
Dipp
Typical.
If you had come to me in the first place…
He
is still flicking through the book. His face lights up and he hands another
cutting to McMuddle.
Dipp
Found
it!
McMuddle
What?
Dipp
The
seemingly insignificant that completes our jigsaw… Read!
McMuddle
“Strange
phenomenon…” (He has trouble with the
word) “Strange thingie seen on
cliffs at Talon Cove. Fishermen identify large creature resembling a rat…”?
His
voice trails off.
Dipp
Observe
the date.
McMuddle
Only
three weeks ago.
Dipp
The
game’s afoot, McMuddle!
He
begins to put on his cape and deerstalker.
Dipp
The
game is afoot!
Prince
I
insist on joining you!
He
slaps his thigh and strikes a manly pose. Dipp takes McMuddle aside.
Dipp
What
is he doing?
McMuddle
(Sighing)
Principal Boys, Dipp. Principal Boys.
Dipp
(Still
unconvinced) Yes, well… (To the Prince) Er, capital! I would be most honoured, Sire. But I
must warn you… I fear this case may turn out to be the most dangerous of my
career!
Prince
I
shall face any danger to find my precious Cinders.
He
slaps his thigh again. Dipp and McMuddle give the Audience on of “those”
looks.
Dipp
Come,
McMuddle! A new adventure begins. Please bring along your trusty revolver. We
may yet have need of it.
McMuddle
Where
are we going?
Dipp
To
Talon Cove!
CLICK
HERE to
meet or heroes
again
CLICK
HERE to return to the "Sherbert Dipp" synopsis
CLICK HERE to order
script