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Little Bo PeepCharactersSIR BARNABAS BELCHER, BART A Vile
Villain CHORUS OF FAIRIES, TOWNSPEOPLE & CO Sample SceneWe believe that Pantomime Villains should be fun to play... Downright nasty, but with a wicked twinkle in the eye. One of our favourite villains is Baron Belcher. In this short scene, he sneakily tries to worm his way into our Heroine's affections... ROMANTIC MUSIC BO PEEP Foolish Geordie! Imagining that I would marry a Prince... when I'm deeply in love with you! (sighs) Whene'er I sit in the meadow, you fill my daydreams. I dream of you holding my tiny hand, telling me its frozen, gazing into my eyes and whispering "I love you"! The GIRLS sigh BO PEEP Dearest, darling Geordie! I'd willingly marry you, if only you'd ask... SONG : LITTLE BO PEEP & GIRLS After the Song, the GIRLS run off. Thunder and lightning. BELCHER enters BELCHER (Yelling above the Sound Effects) Shaddap! The thunder and lightning abruptly stops BELCHER Honestly! Ask for special effects and they simply go beresk... Where was I? Ah, yes. Ahem! Little Bo Peep! Me heart's desire awaiteth me! The perfect opporchancity! 'Tis time, methinks, to give me troth a quick plight... (to her) Good morrow, fairest of dainty damozels! BO PEEP Why! Sir Barnabas Belcher, Bart... you quite startled me! BELCHER Good... I mean, sorry. Dearest child, I espy that ye appear to be on thy tod. No wooers in the woodwork? No winchers in the whereabouts? BO PEEP (Avoiding his gaze) No, sir. I am quite alone. BELCHER Then may one beg thy indulgence for a few moments, prithee? BO PEEP (Puzzled) By all means, Baron. BELCHER (Curtly) Ta! Ahem... Music, please! MUSIC : "Hearts and Flowers" BELCHER (Sadly) You see before thee a very lonely man, Miss Peep. I have a reputation for wickedness through no fault of me own. 'Tis the name, you see. Nobody loves you when you're a Belcher. Sadly, me ancestors hailed from Windrush... Hatred and vilification have followed me all my miserable, wretched life! Vicious dogs whimper whene'er I approach... and Postman Pat always bites me! All, all this because of me wretched accursed name! Oh, infamy! Infamy! ALL CAST MEMBERS & ACCOMPANISTS They've all got it "infamy"! BELCHER Oh, despair! Despair! I have opened up me black heart to ye because I want you to see that I'm not as evil as I'm painted. I'm not yer ordinary run-of-the-mill Panto villain, honest! I've just never been given the chance of being good! (hangs his head and "sobs") BO PEEP (Deeply moved) Oh! You poor, poor man! (aside) Methinks I may have misjudged him! BELCHER (Aside) Tee-hee... She believed me! (sniggers) BO PEEP Pray, do not distress thyself. BELCHER (Eagerly) Then, will ye...? BO PEEP Will I what, Baron? He falls to his knees BELCHER Oh, Little Bo Peep! Be mine, be mine! Here, at thy dainty feet, a humble suppliant, I kneel! I have a long-felt want! Marry me!? BO PEEP (Not unkindly) I cannot marry thee, sirrah. My girlish heart is promised to another. He stands up, annoyed BELCHER To whom, pray? BO PEEP Well, if you must know... Geordie! BELCHER (Furious)
Haughty, foolish child! Ye dare spurn me! He seizes her. She struggles BELCHER The fire of love rageth within me! Peradventure, I may quench the flame by the moisture of thy ruby lips? Nay! I am resolved! BO PEEP Unhand me, cruel one! I am but an innocent village maiden! GEORDIE bursts in and slaps his thigh GEORDIE Methought I heard the plaintive cry of a Damsel in distress! BO PEEP (To him) Stop slapping your thigh and help me! GEORDIE Villain, desist! BELCHER releases her and she runs to GEORDIE BELCHER Curses! Foiled again! BO PEEP (To GEORDIE) My hero! (to BELCHER) You... you... tainted Tartar! BELCHER Ooh, saucy! Oh, fool! To shun delights that never cloy! GEORDIE Go, leave thy deadly work undone! GEORDIE Away, away, ill-favoured one! BELCHER (To GEORDIE) Look, sunshine! Here I am, indulging in a bit of melodramatic pathos, and you just have to keep sticking yer oar in! Kindly mind yer own business, ye puny, protracted, pusillanimous, pimply, pathetic, post-modern, polyunsaturated, Principal Boy, ye! BO PEEP Oh, reprobate! Geordie is kind, brave, upright, honest and handsome. GEORDIE (Aside) Methinks she doth love me... (sighs) BELCHER Honest, is he? Well, me proud beauty, before the sun sets on Loose Chippings! (or Local Reference) I shall prove to all just how dishonest he is!BO PEEP That, sir, you can never do! (flounces off) BELCHER (Mimicking her) "That, sir, you can never do!" We'll see about that! (shouts after her) I hope yer jelly babies get the measles! (sulks) GEORDIE Come, Baron! Must one indulge in childish insults? BELCHER Why don't you shut yer face! (aside) Calls himself a Principal Boy? With legs like those? (to him) Had a visit from the Cellulite Fairy, have we? GEORDIE (Aside) That men is definitely not nice! And now to find my Little Bo Peep! She will doubtless be distressed and distraught after her experience with Belcher! Her legs will be like a jelly, but she'll be alright in a trifle... Oh, I do hope so! (runs off, calling) Little Bo Peep! My beloved! Wait...? BELCHER (Livid with rage) Oohh! I shall demand a steward's enquiry! SONG : SIR BARNABAS BELCHER, BART BELCHER I tried to win her love fairly, now didn't I? Oh, yes I did! Audience Participation ad-lib BELCHER 'Twould seem that all me silver-tongued eloquence were in vain...Was in vain. So, I shall just have to resort to foul methods. I only hope I don't "lay an egg" before me schemes come "home to roost"! (laughs at his appalling puns) Oh, I'm on form tonight! (triumphantly) Beware, O Little Boy Blue! The big, bad, Baron's out for... BLOOD! Does Belcher get his wicked way or does true love triumph? Of course, the answer's to be found in the complete script! CLICK
HERE to re-appear (without a puff of smoke!) at the
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