The Legend of Cinderella

SIR DODDIE TWADDLE  The Lord of Clartystanes Castle
SNECK  A Castle Guard
SNIB  His Assistant
SCRIVEN  The Laird's Private Secretary
BUTTONS  The General Factotum 
CALLUNA  Queen of the Faeries
DALRIADA  Heid Faerie Godmother
PRINCE ALBAN  Calluna's Son
FISTICUFF Alban's "Minder"
THRON  Evil Queen of the Hobgoblins
CINDERELLA   The Laird's Kind Hearted Daughter
BRITNEY  Thron's Photogenically Challenged Daughter
CHER  The Face That Sucked a Thousand Chips
BILLY DOO A Messenger Pigeon

The Setting is the ancient Celtic Kingdom of Scotland

Scene 1 : A Tale as Old as Time...

Opening tableau: Sneck and Snib are helping Sir Doddie Twaddle get into his finery, Scriven is issuing gilded invitations to some Villagers and Village Children are weaving daisy chains and flower garlands.

Song: Sir Doddie Twaddle & Chorus

A sad and dejected Buttons enters. He sees the preparations, sighs and makes to exit. Doddie stops him.

Doddie Ah! There ye are, Buttons. We’ve been scorching… Scratching… Stitching… Starching…

Scriven Searching?

Doddie Aye. Searching everywhere for ye. Are ye sure we can’t perspire… Pursue… That is, eh…

Scriven Persuade?

Doddie I’m obliged to you, Master Scriven… (To Buttons) Can we not persuade you to gang with us to the Faerie Glen? Ye can help with the arrangements. Can’t we change yer mind?

Buttons No. I’m fine, Laird. Off ye go. I’ll be alright. Have a lovely time. (Forces a smile)

Doddie Well, if ye’re sure? Cinders’ll be that disjointed…

Scriven Disappointed?

Doddie Whatever. (Puts his arm round him) It’ll all work out for the best, son. Ye’ll find a lass of yer own some day. Mark my words. If ye change yer mind, ye know where we’ll be. (To the others) Come away! We’ve got a Royal Wedding to help arrange. Sneck and Snib? Help with the bunting and frolics. Master Scriven, help with the flowers. I’ll help to organize the disco and the Killiecrankie… I mean, Karaoke. I do a marvellous “Tom Jones”… Well, it’s not unusual! And I’m a dab hand at the “Macaroni”…

They exit. Some of the Children stay behind, aware of Buttons’ sadness. He sits on the edge of the stage, sighing and unashamedly playing on the Audience’s sympathy.

Sad Music

Buttons All the best to ye, Cinders… All the best. (Sniffles)

The Children go into a huddle, agree and then run over to him. They arrange themselves around him, egging him on, cuddling, cajoling and tickling him. He tries to brighten up.

Children (Ad-lib) Cheer up, Buttons… We love you, Buttons… Tell us the Story again, Buttons? Please?

Buttons (Reluctantly) Alright, alright… Calm down. I’ve just got something in my eye, that’s all.

He wipes his eyes and blows his nose. Foghorn effect.

Buttons So… Ye want me to tell ye the Story? Is that right?

Children We want the Story! We want the Story!

He pulls out a red card and blows a whistle, calling them to order. They giggle and settle down.

Buttons Well, if ye insist. I’ll tell it on one condition… All the Boys and Girls in the Audience will have to ask me as well! And all the big Boys and Girls too!

Audience Participation as the Children in the Audience are persuaded to ask Buttons for the Story.

Buttons Right, well… Settle down. Settle down.

As Buttons starts to relate the Story the lights fade to a solitary spot on him. The Children react accordingly, ad-lib.

Buttons           A Story I will tell ye, a tale as old as time,

                        That some day will be a Legend aye recalled in Pantomime!

                        A Tale of Crystal Slippers with a magical surprise…

                        A trick done with a pumpkin that’ll bring tears to yer eyes!

                        We’ve Mooses loose about the hoose, who guard each lock and key…

                        And a fabulous performance from the bloke that’s playing me.

                        There’s the Queen of the Hobgoblins, and two Dames to make ye wince...

Children (Cutting in) And, of course, sweet Cinderella and her charming Faerie Prince!

Buttons Hey! Hold on a wee… Who’s telling this Story? Now, where was I? I’ve went and forgot my place. What happens next?

Children The Faerie Glen!

Buttons I know. I was just joking… Ahem! The Faerie Glen! (Softly) Close yer eyes and try to imagine it. The Faerie Glen… Imagine!

The Children close their eyes.

Buttons A wonderful, magical, mystical place!

The Children begin to quietly chant as Buttons continues.

Children The Faerie Glen… The Faerie Glen…

Buttons Dream it! See it!

Music

The Tabs slowly open to reveal The Faerie Glen. Calluna and other Faeries are silhouetted against the sky cloth.

Buttons Look! There’s the Queen of the Faeries! Can ye see her? And all her Lords and Ladies too!

Children Ooh! Look… it’s the Faerie Glen! The Faerie Glen…

Buttons           There’s an ancient Faerie Legend we’ll retell in Pantomime.

                        It’s a Story worth the telling…

All (Echoing)   It’s a Tale As Old As Time!

The lights fade on Buttons and the Children.

Visit the Faerie Glen and beyond in the complete tale